I hope you had a great weekend and are ready to hit the week strong! Chris was traveling for work so I had a lovely girls weekend with Ella and Sophia. We’ve found our own groove when it’s just the three of us, but as with any weekend, inevitably the two of them get on each other’s last nerve.
Yesterday, things started to unravel a little bit and it felt like every 1-2 hours, someone was tattling on, whining about, or yelling at someone else.
Ella, “Sophie pinched me and called me a dummy.”
Sophia, “Ella said she wished she was allowed to hate me.”
Ella, “Sophia grabbed the balloon from me and ran away.”
And on and on… and on.
It’s not like any one thing they did was horrible. It was the bickering. The whining. The constant-ness of it that was getting to me.
After every incident I went through a very ineffective, “This is not what we do in our house. We are kind. We don’t call names. We don’t hit or hurt when we are angry.”
Blah. Blah. Blah.
At dinner, we were talking about the day and I thought it would be good to review what had gone down. Perhaps create another teachable moment about respect. Except Sophia decided to throw Ella under the bus one last time (as if to say that all of my comments should only be directed at Ella). I looked at Sophie and said, “Hey. You weren’t acting any better. You were the one calling names.”
Four year old Sophie gave me the most straightforward look and said, “MOMMMMMM. We’re not talking about that now. We’ve MOVED ON to something else. We’re talking about ELLA. You’ve got to let it go.”
I practically spit out my salad over her direct adult tone and her selfish desire to keep the conversation away from anything she may have done wrong. But mostly over the fact,dammit, that she was right.
I had already corrected and talked with them during the times they were acting out. We had moved on to a different place. Why bring it up again and go back there? It wasn’t serving me. It wasn’t helping them. It was just keeping me stuck in an irritated mood.
How often do we do this?
We return to something we need to just move past. Dig around a bit more. Explore the why or the how. Return to our position of why we are right rather than putting it to bed.
Sometimes the best thing we can do is LET GO…fughetaboudit [Shout out to Chris’ Jersey roots]
Consider this a reminder this Monday morning.
Move on to something else. Don’t bring that stuff into this new week. No need to revisit, rehash, rewrite or rework. Just LET GO of what isn’t serving you.
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